Saturday, December 31, 2011

The Nutball Gazette-Week 17 Picks by "The Expert

Here we are, Week 17. The last week of the season

Review of last week
10-6

Season 159-81

Lets go over what is at stake.

The Giants and Cowboys play Sunday Night A Gaint Win or Tie puts them in

In the AFC the only teams that controls its destiny's is the Bengals and Broncos Other wise it can get very complicated, especially if there are any ties

Well anyway here we go

Redskins-10 @ EAGLES-23 (Redskins continue there path to oblivion with owner Dan Snyder and the most overrated coach in NFL History 'Mike Shanahan')

LIONS-23 @ Packers-17 (Lions clinch top wild card and a date with Dallas/Giant winner in 1st round)

New York Paper Airplanes-16 @ DOLPHINS-27(Dolphins knock Jets out of playoffs making Mahi Mahi Fans the happiest they have been since January 13, 1974)

Panthers-24 @ SAINTS-28 (Saints outgun Panthers to try for 1st round bye)

49RS-23 @ Rams-6 (49rs clinch #2 seed and 1st round bye, Steve Spagnuolo guaranteeing his job as Defensive Coordinator of the Giants)

Bears-10 @ VIKINGS-23 (Bears close out a disappointing crash ending of a season)

Titans-17 @ TEXANS-23 (Texans go out to get back on track for playoffs and thus knocking out the surprising titans out of playoff possibilities)

COLTS-24 @ Jaguars-14 (Colts blow chance for #1 pick but Players do not care, They play for pride and maybe save Jim Caldwell's job)

Bills-17 @ PATRIOTS-23 (Patriots clinch #1 Seed)

STEELERS-23 @ Browns-17 (Steelers win to put more pressure on the Ravens to win)

CHIEFS-26 @ Broncos-20 (Chiefs win for Coach Romeo Crennel to get the job permanently and deeply damage Bronco's playoff chances)

Ravens-23 @ BENGALS-27 (I changed my mind from my pool pick on this game, The Ravens are a better team and need this win to avoid being a wild card and to get a 1st round bye. Bengals are the surprise team of the NFL this year, There really is no way the Bengals should be able to win, But Ravens are a poor road team and this just is meant to be for the Bengals) --"Sorry Frank, I know I just cursed the Bengals"

SEAHAWKS-24 @ Cardinals-21 (I have no idea why)

Tampa Bay Yucs-10 @ FALCONS-37 ( Bucs close out what may be the worst stretch of Football in NFL History, This team is much worst than the 76 Bucs or 2008 Lions)

Chargers-23 @ RAIDERS-26 (Janakowski Kicks Raiders into the playoffs for the 1st time since the 2002 season)

SUNDAY NIGHT

Cowboys-26 @ GIANTS-28 (In a barn-burner of a game the Giants Pull off a win with a 46 yard Field Goal with no time left on the clock by Lawrence Tynes)




Thursday, December 22, 2011

The Nutball Gazette-Week 16 Picks

It is Christmas so no Jokes this week. Just the picks

Last week 10-6

Season 149-75

Thursday Night

TEXANS-26 @ Colts-13

Saturday

Raiders-13 @ CHIEFS-20

Dolphins-24 @ PATRIOTS-28

Bucs-10 @ PANTHERS-31

BRONCOS-23 @ Bills-10

CARDINALS-24 @ Bengals-17

Rams-6 @ STEELERS-17

Vikings-17 @ REDSKINS-20

Chargers-20 @ LIONS-23

Giants-23 @ JETS-27

EAGLES-27 @ Cowboys-20

Jaguars-13 @ TITANS-21

49RS-23 @ Seahawks-17

Browns-10 @ RAVENS-16

Sunday Night

Bears-3 @ PACKERS-31

Monday Night

Falcons-27 @ SAINTS-34


Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Nutball Gazette-Week 15 Picks

Last Week 11-5

Season--139-69

Thursday Night

Jacksonville--13 @ FALCONS--27

Saturday

COWBOYS-35 @ Bucs--10

Sunday

BENGALS-26 @ Rams--12

TITANS-23 @ Colts-16

SEahawks-13 @ BEARS-14

LIONS-24 @ Raiders-19

PACKERS-36 @ Chiefs-16

Jets-20 @ EAGLES-26

Panthers-16 @ TEXANS-27

Browns-6 @ CARDINALS-17

SAINTS-27 @ Vikings-13

PATRIOTS-23 @ Broncos-10

Redskins-10 @ GIANTS-31

RAVENS-24 @ Chargers-16

DOLPHINS-13 @ Bills-10

MONDAY NIGHT

Steelers 20 @ 49'RS-34




Thursday, December 8, 2011

Angels Sign Pujols

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It is so unfair, Now the Angels will win the World Series, They will join those other great teams that everyone knew would win or at least make it to the Finals, Oh The Memories The Red Sox vs Phils 2011 World Series, The Miami Heat winning the NBA Tittle in 2010-2011, The Eagles are marching to the Super Bowl in such domination we have never seen before. The Yankees winning 8 World Series in the 2000s.. (Oh Wait)

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The Nutball Gazette-Week 14 Picks

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'The Expert' week 14 Picks


Last Week 8-8
Season 128-64

Cleveland Mutts-10 @ STEELERS-34 (Not even a contest)


PATRIOTS-35 @ Washington Gutless-13 How much longer for the most overrated coach in NFL History)

Indy Mules-6 @ PATRIOTS-35 (Patriots now have Mr Perfect as QB Dan Orlovsky will lead them, he has led one team to perfection as a starter (Lions) and now will be a 2 time Mr Perfect)

TEXANS-27 @ Bengals-23 (Texans not missing a beat and unfortunately Bengals are finishing disappointing)

K C Squaws-10 @ JETS-20 (Jets making frantic attempt for playoffs)

Minn Purple PeePee Eaters-7 @ LIONS-10 (Yawn 2 teams going in the toilet)

Oakland Afraiders-10 @ PACKERS-35 (Oakland just cannot overcome injuries and Patriots are surging)

Saints-23 @ TITANS-31 (Saints struggles on the road continue)

49RS-26 @ Arizona Cadavers-13 (No way 49rs lose)

TAMPA BAY QUACKENEERS-17 @ London England Kitty Cats-10 (Central and North Florida
is hoping the NFL awards Pro Football Franchises to their cities in the next Decade)

Chicago Munsters of the Midway-6 @ BRONCOS 13 (Bears cannot move the ball and as long as it is close Tebow will once again win it late)

Filthydelphia Hummingbirds-9 @ DOLPHINS-27 (Dolphins are on a huge roll and the dirty birds will continue to tank and may have given up)

BARFALLO BELLES-20 @ San Diego Deadbolts-16 (Somehow the Chargers will take the momentum of Monday night and choke it away)

FALCONS-33 @ Carolina Kittys-16 (Falcons solidify the playoffs)

EAST RUTHERFORD RUNTS-27 @ Arlington Cowboobs-17 (Two teams who underachieve every December, Cowboys will not be able to recover from last weeks blunders)

Monday Night

St Lois Scrams-10 @ SEATTLE YAWNHAWKS-16 (This is the Monday Night Game? More men will watch The Sewing Channel rather than this dog)






Thursday, December 1, 2011

The Nutball Gazette-Week 13 Picks

Here we go, Down the stretch we come

Last Week 12-4

Season--120-56

Well No more Mr Nice Guy or respect from "The Expert"

Thursday Night


Philadelphia Pigeons-20 @ SEATTLE WEAKHAWKS-24 ((Really cannot see the Weakhawks winning but they are playing the Pathetic Pigeons)
(This Game might put the NFL Network out of Business, as will Monday Nights game will put ESPN out of Business)

Sunday

RAIDERS-20 @ Dolphins-17 (Raiders seem to be up and coming, It is always tough for West Coast Teams to come East. Miami is playing tough and can win, But the Raiders need this more)

Indianapolis Geldings-13 @ PATRIOTS 31 (Geldings are truly pathetic, Patriots are strutting their stuff, This could be much worse)

FALCONS-23 @ Texans-10 (Texans are just too banged up.)

Carolina Kittens-16 @ TAMPA BAY SUCKANEERS-19 (This game will put Fox Sports out of Business)

Bengals-16 @ STEELERS-24 (Pittsburgh is just too much for a young and banged up Bengal team that really needs this game)

RAVENS-24 @ Browns-13 (Ravens will not tank again in a easy win game)

Kansas City Griefs-10 @ BEARS-16 (Bears Defense will have to win this and will)

COWBOYS-31 @ Arizona Canaries-16 (Arizona is just mailing it in and Cowboys have a chance to take command of the NFC East)

Broncos-13 @ VIKINGS (Broncos and Tebowmania magic runs out this week)

PACKERS-43 @ New York Dwarfs-27 (High Scoring affair but the Dwarfs do their annual patented shrinking act again)

TITANS-23 @ Barfallo Nils-10 (One of the worst collapses ever continues in Barfallo)

St Louis Lambs-16 @ 49-RS-26 (San Francisco continues to march to a 1st round bye)

EAST RUTHURFORD NOT YETS-24 @ Washington Thinskins-17 (This game will put out CBS Sports, A Must win for the Gliders, If they lose they will end up 6-10)

Detroit Cryins-17 @ SAINTS-38 (Saints should rout vs the collapsing Cryins)

Monday Night

San Diego Sparklers-17 @ JACKSONVILLE/LOS ANGELES/LONDON-ENGLAND KITTY KATS-20 (This game sets Monday Night Football to a lower form of existence than Roller derby)